If you’re a micro business owner, the chances are you work far longer hours in your business than you ever did when you had a ‘proper’ job!
Your business becomes your passion, and you commit to it wholeheartedly. And in the early days you may take on more work than you can really handle. The need to say “no” is not even acknowledged as the drive to fill order books and attract more customers and clients takes precedence.
There will however come a point, when saying “no” simply becomes something you have to do.
Perhaps you need to reclaim your time or create and maintain an appropriate lifestyle that suits your commitments. Whatever your reason, learning to say no with confidence can save your sanity and relationships!
But have you noticed it can be surprisingly hard to get the words out?
What’s more, there may be all manner of reasons that get you tongue tied. Perhaps you’re a people pleaser, or maybe you feel guilty or possibly you’ve just got into a pattern where others have got used to you always saying yes to extra work or last minute demands.
Know this. Learning to say no confidently need not be difficult. And with a bit of thought and some strategies up your sleeve, it can be managed in a way that leaves you, and the person you say “no” to, feeling good.
Check out these four strategies for saying no with confidence…
1. Set boundaries
When you don’t understand what’s really important to you, you can’t protect it.
Alternatively, if you have a clear idea of your priorities, and know the values of those priorities in your life, then setting acceptable boundaries becomes much easier.
For example, how much does family time matter to you? Or time to exercise? Are your weekends sacrosanct? Are you willing to accept phone calls from customers, clients or staff in the evening, or is your phone a no-go area after a certain time?
- Decide what really, truly matters to you.
- Then set yourself some boundaries, which are non-negotiable.
2. Explain your boundaries
The “why” creates the emotional connection with your ring-fenced time and helps you to safeguard it. The chances are your ‘why’ will reflect your dearest values. It also makes it easier to share with others.
So share your “why”. For example, Sundays are a completely family oriented time for me. It’s the one day a week my husband and I get together, so that time for me is out of bounds to any work related activity, or even friends that we don’t share. Being able to explain this to others helps them to understand why I turn down invites for Sundays, which means saying ‘no’ becomes painless and guilt free.
You already say “no”, but not to the right things
Every time you say “yes” to someone else’s demands, you say “no” to yourself, your family, your health or something else you love.
Knowing this can help you to put other people’s demands in perspective.
Saying yes to a client’s last minute order can mean saying no to your child’s school production. Keep that phrase uppermost in your mind, and think long and hard about what you’re really saying no to.
3. Say no helpfully
I always think it’s good to be as helpful as you can be in any situation. But if you are going to be affected, try offering an alternative option.
For example, tell your customer that whilst their order can’t be fulfilled at 5.30pm on a Friday, you’ll make it your priority on Monday morning, and then keeping your word. Perhaps drop them a quick email or text Monday morning, reassuring them that you’ve started on their job.
Look for a win-win situation that makes your customer feel valued and important, but still allows you to maintain your own boundaries and say no gracefully.
What to say if you’re put on the spot
Sometime it’s easy to get caught out and be put on the spot with a request.
How do you respond?
In this situation, I recommend giving yourself some breathing space and time to think. Saying something like ‘Give me ten minutes and I’ll get back to you’, can buy you some time to work out if what you’re being asked to do is feasible, or even if you want to do it. You can then consider the above points to help you make your decision.
4. Let go of the guilt
If you follow the above guidelines, you’re less likely to feel guilty about saying no.
Remember, other people are requesting you spend your time on something to suit them – it’s your choice whether or not you do that.
Learn to recognise when others might be subtly manipulating you and deal with it logically, not emotionally – they might feel they need to speak to you at 7.30pm, but ask yourself how much it will matter in the long run if they don’t?
If you’ve set and communictaed your appropriate boundaries, then it won’t be an issue anyway.
And remember. A happy, stress free micro business owner means happy stress free clients and customers in the long run!
Have you found any other ways to say “no” that work for you? Please tell me in the comments.
Identify one thing you need to say no to then write out and implement your strategy for making it happen.